Typical introductions are supposed to go a bit like this:
Hiya! My name is Saraiya and I’m 25 years old living in LDN! I’m 5’7″ and in this blog I’m just going to be writing about what I get up to in London and enjoying myself the Halal Way! Be sure to follow me on all social media (@saraiyabah) and insha’allah you’ll enjoy this wicked epic journey with me.
All the above is true, but I’m not a typical person. I would like to think I have some depth and I’ll let you know how I came to the position I’m in now to be writing a blog of this sort.
If I am to look back at myself two years ago, I would describe myself as a modern day Geisha. I camouflaged my inner thoughts and emotions with a facade of happiness, nights out and spending an obscene amount of money on cosmetics & hair products. I’ve never found it easy to open up to people about my feelings to a point where I have passive aggressive tendencies. Emotions bottled up like this resort to irrevocable actions which led me into slumps of depression. Bingeing on delectable morsels that felt oh so right but was doing so much wrong to my already thickset physique. I lost all my already wafer thin confidence due to the trials and tribulations life brings.
I took a deep look within myself. I craved validation in a superficial context; wore figure enhancing garments, go out and turn up and over; obliterate myself from the misery that was becoming an everyday battle to just wake up and smile. Forge whimsical relationships because I genuinely and naively thought my issues would be solved by committing myself to false oaths by fair weather friends who were never there when I truly needed them.
Sorrow. Noun. A feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment or other misfortunes suffered by oneself and/or others. I was so consumed in sorrow I couldn’t even recognise it for what it was. I couldn’t talk to anyone – how can you burden someone else when they have their own issues? Keep Calm & Carry On. But the hysteria was bubbling. Why couldn’t I turn to someone? Who would save me, or want to for that matter, when I was giving up on myself so easily.
The answer – Allah. Allah saved me, by placing people in my life who would make me appreciate life. Their everyday actions made me realise that there was more to life than what I had resigned myself to. Inspired me to look deep within myself and make changes that would not just change my life but save my soul that I almost lost.
I made the decision to wear hijab and immerse myself in my deen on 31st December 2013. It’s been a challenge I’ve welcomed eagerly alhamdulillah. But I’m still Saraiya who loves to laugh and enjoy new experiences. This blog will definitely show what I get up to but it will also be a place where I can speak how I feel freely. And I hope you can join me on that spiritual journey to.
With that, I bid you good night and allow me to be you humble Muslimah tour guide.
PS – do follow me on all modes of Social Media (@saraiyabah)
– Saraiya x