Reflecting II


it’s like emerging from a rain storm.
drenched and soaking through and through;
my bruised soul and tainted love is pure once again
although my mind and my heart still acquires the raw pain
i love i loved i cared for you beyond words
a feeling that before; to me sounded absurd
investing so much time, and effort and abuse and laughter and tears
disregarding my conscience that blatantly expressed my fears
simply to hear your voice and the promises it held
like a new born babe in my arms i held
yep, that yute grew up fast
and the problems came fast
yet i thought we could last
what a fool am i?
and . . . i thought you genuinely cared
but you made it perfectly made it clear
it was only a casual affair
but after all this … i can’t bring myself to hate you
it’s a learning curve … you taught me alot.
i’m a better person.
your words didn’t kill me … it made me stronger.
i’m born again.

I was 17 when I wrote this poem.  I can agree with one line – what a fool I was.  It’s ironic that the things I considered as traumatic back then I now perceive as comical.

Pearls of wisdom I would gift my younger self:

The issue at hand is that you value other people’s happiness above your own.  If you go out of your way to accommodate to a selfish person’s needs, you will always be on the receiving end of ill treatment.  Some people don’t want to be taught basic courtesy.  I’m not telling you to change, but you need to know your worth and be selective with love and devotion.

– Saraiya

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