According to my mother, I’m not happy unless I’m on the opposition of the status quo. The next sentence I type will make her theory hold weight. This concept of #SQUAD makes me very uncomfortable. Like there’s not enough pressure that I already face with being a Millennial Woman. (Wow, that makes me seem like some bogus superhero). As if I need to focus my energies on career progression, find a spouse, become a human incubator/baby manufacturing machine and maintain a hardcore super group of friends who slay together all day everyday.
I often find myself questioning the values of our relationships with other women and the threads that weave us together – be it biological, career or just because souls resonate with one another. I have a sister and we have many common interests, we’ve shared the same womb, shared the same room, are both Muslim and shared a childhood. Allah knows I love her dearly, but that is where the common ground ends. We couldn’t be any more different as individuals. She is very much a social butterfly; always out with her friends. Myself – I would say as I’ve grown older I deeply appreciate the moments of solitude that is so fleeting to attain in this day and age. These moments, to others, make me seem anti-social or unbothered.
So where do the women who are prone to be emotionally introverted and require time out from all modes of human interaction fit into this institute of kinship? Where you’re supposed to be with your girlfriends and any opportunity of free time you possess should be spent in each other’s company and hashtagging “squad” on every social media platform. Does my need for solitude mean that I’m the cancerous membrane in the sorority that needs to be cut out?
As much as I do enjoy conversation and social endeavours, I’ve never been the one to plan excursions which is terrible and I’m pretty sure that when some of my friends read this they will have some very choice words to exchange with me but, again, this is my truth. I don’t think that the level of love, support and solidarity of sisterhood should be esteemed or measured on how many times we check into a hipster joint on Facebook, or donning every variation of The Flower filter on Snapchat.