I decided to have a Pret Packed lunch today. And that was the easiest decision to make until I got there. Then it was just options, upon options, upon options. This isn’t the best thing to have in abundance when you’re a highly indecisive individual. I spent 15 minutes umm-ing and ahh-ing until the manager actually gave me a packet of Smoke Chipotle crisps on the house so long as I actually made a decision. I ended up with the Crayfish and Avocado sandwich. Which was nice, but now in hindsight I wish I had gone for the Falafel and Halloumi Cheese hot wrap. We all have regrets. Occasions and situations that we reflect on and think about how things could’ve been in retrospect. I’ve been thinking about my actions from the beginning of this year to now and whilst I don’t regret anything, I believe that I have let myself down a bit.
At the beginning of the year, I was super organised. Shockingly organised to the point where I’m now wondering if I was under hypnosis. I was setting myself weekly goals that were broken down into tasks for each day of the week. Keeping a diary and noting down every beneficial conversation and meeting that I had. Regularly attending creative meetings and updating my LinkedIn profile with every public engagement I attended.
I guess I was being consistent and adopting accountability practices to measure my work output. Since April, around about the Easter Bank Holiday, I’ve been more relaxed. Too relaxed.. And though I have been busy, alhamdulillah, I can’t measure my productivity. I want to go back to my old ways of 2017 yet I can’t deny that whilst there has been no structure; I’ve accomplished some incredible feats alhamdulillah.
Khalid Charles, journalist and extraordinary human says: “at some point we all go from being super organised to going with the flow. I wondered why do we feel better when we are achieving daily or weekly goals. It made me realise that achievement of spiritual goals can be so fulfilling and personally I find when those targets are being met the rest just falls into place! Its an observation I have hung on and tried to pratice for years. Sunnat Allah!”
Maybe I just need to figure out the right balance of spontaneity and structure.